For a whole year I tried convincing Sean that it would be great for me to stay home with Wade and work on my photography business. A whole year. AND I did it. I convinced him that I could do it. I had these super grandiose ideas about what I would do, the clients I would attract, and how my day to day life would ultimately make me a better wife and mom. And I did it… partially. The things I thought I would accomplish – I did most all of it. The day to day life of a mother and wife – I did, sometimes. You see, I became the type of person who I wished I would never become:: the workaholic. Yep, sure did happen. And who suffered? My wonderful husband, my sweet little boy, and in turn I suffered. I stressed over every single blog post and what was going on in the social media world. Not fun. I would stay awake all night long thinking of the next big thing that I could do with my business. I would obsess over all the things that others were doing in the industry that I envied so much. I would be left at 3 am in my living room on my knees praying to God to help calm my soul and to find peace. The whole blood, sweat, and tears thing??? I’ve been there.
Then it hit me. After another day of being aggravated with Wade for not giving me the peace I needed to work, and him being aggravated at me for not taking 5 minutes to play with him I realized what we needed. Mommy needed to get out of the house. Mommy needed to get away from the computer and the crazy amount of information that would stream through it daily. Mommy needed a break from social media (I suggest everyone try it!!! It is sooo liberating and you’ll feel great!). Mommy needed the water-cooler atmosphere and to be able to have conversations with actual people who had lives of their own and could relate to being a mommy and wife. And Wade??? Wade needed friends his age (oh my goodness, he loves school so much I feel guilty for ever taking him out!). Wade needed to have time away from Mommy so he could learn and explore new things that she would never have thought of doing. So, once again I tried convincing Sean that I needed a job. The questions flew left and right. All the what ifs and hows and whys you could muster would flood our conversations. What about my photography business? Would it suffer? Would I stifle it? Would I appear as a failure to others? The answers have been so very obvious the past few weeks after starting my job. No. No. And I don’t care. I. Feel. GREAT!!!!!!
Since taking the plunge there were two things that I did. 1) I only take jobs that fit what I love to do, and 2) I take time in the evenings and weekends to love my family by showing that I am there for them. I cannot begin to tell you how much God has blessed me for following what he wanted me to do. I have been busier working with brides and families who fit with what I do. I’m loving photography again and not feeling all the pressure to do all and be all. Sean and I just cannot believe that by narrowing my focus so much, I have become better and more successful at what I love to do. I am just so very happy!
I also followed a calling to lead up the Pursuit 31 Knoxville group. If you are a Christian woman photographer and want a safe place to talk about photography, your family, and Jesus, then Pursuit 31 is the place to be! September 13th I will hold a meet and greet in my studio, so please let me know if you would like to attend! I think it is going to be AWESOME!!! Lots of information, encouragement, and growing is my ultimate goal for you guys.
And after all of that… I think you guys deserve a sneak from the last wedding I photographed with Barbara Younkin. :)
